Old Age, I decided, is a gift
I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my mother!), but I don't agonize over those things for long.
I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.
I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.
I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.
Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon?
I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60&70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ..... I will.
I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.
They, too, will get old.
I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.
Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.
I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver
As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.
So, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day. (If I feel like it)
MAY OUR FRIENDSHIP NEVER COME APART ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART! MAY YOU ALWAYS HAVE A RAINBOW OF SMILES ON YOUR FACE AND IN YOUR HEART FOREVER AND EVER!
Thursday, 3 July 2008
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4 comments:
Beautiful entry, full of wisdom.
http://journals.aol.co.uk/jeanno43/JeannettesJottings/
Blimey I can relate to that......as long as I am happy in myself who gives a dam....but I must get those long hairs that appear to have sprouted from nowhere on my chin sorted out!
"Have you seen her that happy smiley woman with the four long hairs hanging off her chin!!"
Karen
x
I love this, I really do. I am printing this off and hanging it in my office..thanks for sharing.
Lisa
Oh how I identify with all of that! I feel so sad for my best friend who died at 61, I miss sharing things with her so much. My dear niece who died last week aged only 44 and there are others who would have been my age now if they had survived......
So much to be grateful for - the builders who whistled at me the other day - lol - perhaps they should have gone to specsavers ;-) but they did give me a laugh. :-D
Thanks for your advice on changing the duvet cover, unfortunately that doesn't work for me, as the cover needs to be completely open at the bottom, whereas mine is only open in the centre. But you have given me an idea of another way to do it.
ttfn
Freda
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